Diablo Rojo / Color of Midnight

The color of midnight–
The color of your cheek half lit in moonlight
The glow against your hair
From the nightlight and the faint yellow
From the bathroom I just left
The haze of the computer monitor–LCD–
Or maybe the muted greys of a bar floor
Or the blur of a midnight freeway beneath
Fuck songs about weekends–some
Saturdays are deadly boring–
Everyone is all just living for their midnights
–small sweeping bedside victories, epic
Missions for drugs or sex–

Unlike 4 AM you’re not there because you have to be;
Unlike 10 PM it’s free from the plans you tried to marry to it, arrange for it;
And all the colors are more honest at midnight–
Only things you care enough to light are lit and
The moon makes due with reflected sunlight and
Full moon alleyway shadows

Midnight is the color of a drug deal, a blow job
A save game reloading again;
Midnight is the lonely color of 110 miles an hour because
You know that CHP won’t be out this way until 1:30;
Midnight is the kingdom of all that should
Have been, but cannot be in daylight;
Midnight is the color of a secret, because that shade
Of him naked is too delicate to describe
And midnight pushes against my neck with his
Breath quicker, then not at all–
It was the weight of midnight freed from my chest as Doug
Let me finally go, I got up and his
Twin Siamese –eyes as neon blue as his– uncrossed a midnight path
(Doug dumped me over the phone in the morning);
As its midnight chill reveals the true desert heart
The snakes slow into coiled midnight stones…

The scar and stain of midnight
The dent in the skin that remembers
The ashes of a drunken night, or of a comedown
–because you lacked money, not nerve–
The stain of solitude, the remote bedrooms of childhood and
The refuge of midnight offered awake beneath the sheet–
The stain of black and white on walls
As the Christmas Eve “I Love Lucy” Midnight Marathon begins
The Candy Factory episode
And every downtown everywhere at midnight wears
The aimless desperation of the young,
The endless exasperation of the working, and
The forgotten midnight party soundtrack
Of everyone who use to be there–
Midnight offers sanctuary, harbors asylum
To every you you ever had to leave behind
And every you you had to ditch at the club–
Midnight reads just like that letter you wrote and never sent
Where you finally admit you were wrong to have left him

Midnight is the color of the ocean as it soothes
The deserted drunken hearts that
Collect like seashells outside beachside bars
Midnight is the color of flashing grunion and
The alien empire and its refugees from pressure,
Midnight rages red and shock white as diablo rojo squid
Frenzy through prey, flicker a drowning electric death;
Finally, still, midnight remains the color of longing for here
In this hallway between day and death
I always already wait for you, always already wonder
–even as you lie next to me–
If the night air and the color of zero can bring you back again
Tomorrow night, for the color of midnight is the same every night
Until, maybe, you’re finally dead.